believe that there are two types of women in this world: those who LOVE and those who WANT TO BE LOVED. I want to first point out the differences between the two. Then, I’m gonna tell you why you should be NEITHER!
The women who LOVE spend the majority of their energy caring and giving to others with almost no regard to themselves. Be it at home, at work, at church, they are ALWAYS giving. They will go without so that others can have. And even though they usually will leave themselves neglected, they somehow find some sort of satisfaction (or the delusion thereof) in seeing others happy! I’m not completely knocking this, but I do think it’s important to take care of YOU sometimes.
Then you have the women who WANT TO BE LOVED–the needy women who stay in WAG swag mode and can’t go more than 3 hours without calling their significant or insignificant other. And, if they’re flying solo, will call you up to pine over their ex or tell you how they stalked the cute new guy in Ad Sales on Twitter yesterday. Even while they are single, they’ve already got their wedding day planned down to who’s sitting where. Really (O_o) .
Ladies, I’m begging you. Please. Can you find a happy medium here? Become both the lover and the one who wants to be loved. Love yourself #pause or #unpause, whatever fills your sails. In that “in-between” time, in the meantime, until your next relationship, be selfish! Think about you and what you want to do with your time and energy. There are so many other important things that need to be addressed emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and (maybe) financially.
Case in point: ME. I’ve been single for well over a year and I’ve enjoyed every moment of it (except for that time where…..mmmmm, that’s another post). I’ve met some pretty good potentials but most importantly I’m learning about myself and overcoming obstacles to become a better version me. I knew that when I ended my last relationship, I needed to put myself on timeout. I thought to myself , ‘I do NOT want to be the guy that crosses my path right now!’. Not saying that I was a man-eating, cold-hearted, b!tch in heels–I just needed some time of self-reflection and repair. Boyfriend was not in my vocabulary and still isn’t (sorry sweetheart, you know who you are ;-)). I have many reasons why and I’m gonna break this down for you to schedule in your “in between” time.
‘On To The Next One’ is just a song not a hymn. I love Hov, but there are certain things that this should apply to. Relationships are not IT. I don’t advocate getting with somebody else to forgo the memory of how stupid your ex was. Why should the next man have to hear about your past relationship, carry your emo-baggage, or get called the wrong name?!
Date. Don’t Be Dated. I think when you are out of the dating pool for a while, you forget how to swim. Stay current with what people are doing by continuing to see people. Like the fact that a guy will text, bbm, or email you to set up a date (*pet peeve-eyeroll-and won’t get him anywhere with me) is now the thing to do. Don’t front and give these guys false hope but, date in the true sense of dating for goodness sake! Actually get to know people. When you take thronxing out of the equation, then you really see what a guy is made of! CHECK MATE.
Keep ONE in the Chamber. Bed chamber that is. I think we have have to shut down our inner Samantha Jones at times and cash the reality check that she’s fictional. Don’t just lay down with any and everybody. Nuff said.
You’re Doing You. Again…pause. Seriously this time. Take as long as you like to fulfill your goals (or set them if you have nada), travel, party, explore a new look, whatever! You are catering to YOU.
Am I wrong for thinking taking a break is a good thing? I mean, it’s not like we have forever (our clock is ticking girls, lol)! But at the same time, ain’t no time like the present! What are your thoughts?