The Breakup Breakdown


would be doing a disservice to our readers if I chose not to disclose a few of the things going on with me these days. As private as I am in nature, I am choosing to discuss the recent “loss” in my life to shed light on a situation that all of us are familiar with. As my girls, new and old, you all know what the breakup plan usually consists of – a stiff drink, a strong cry, and a tub of ice cream. Five hours later – where are you? I personally refuse to play this role!! I can’t, it’s not fair to me or to the women that are there with me to pick up the pieces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a stone cold fox. While I have internalized most of my feelings, the light that usually emanates from me has gently dimmed to a minimal flicker. One thing is for certain – I need to stand clear of songs like Aretha Franklin “Never loved a man”; Aaron Neville “Tell it like it is”; and Smokey Robinson “Hold on me” – they are the devil and since I didn’t double F on my ipod they have only helped intensify the density of my fog.

But before I proceed, let me say this- there is a serious design flaw in any WOMAN who cannot identify at least two best friends; two females that have proven over the span of five years that they have your front back and otherwise. I say this because, there is no way that one can have a partnership with any man without building a relationship with first themselves and then a female that can relate with them to the core.

Now – as I continue forward in my personal journey of finding my inner peace again, I struggled to tell the very people that I know will have my back regardless. I haven’t been sad per say, I’m more disappointed in trusting someone once again with my heart. Blaming these events on me has proved to be the easiest copping method. “I’m not pretty enough; I’m not timid enough” etc. Well after about one minute of belittling myself amongst my friends their true feelings came flying out – “your gorgeous”, “your amazing”, and my personal favorite “he’s a jerk” lol. But it wasn’t until I got the following email early one morning that I fell into a place of peace. Not that my other girlies were not helpful, but this email just reminded me the next person I chose to love needs to have this in his heart as well. The words are simple, but they provide clarity on love and the joy of another. Read it over, check the author and tell me what u think.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she
may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not
perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect
together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and
admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her
the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of
the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can
break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze
and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you
happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s
not there.

-Bob Marley

Amazing. I know. So as for my accompanying image… Well a little piece of me would like to grab a pistol and demand him to reciprocate my love. But, as we know, that’s a characteristic of a crazy psyco broad… and path that we don’t really want to visit. But, in my pocket I have a baby Ms. Campbell ready to pounce. So, I went with that!

Now that I have found my happy place again, my gun is tucked and I’m ready for whatever fabulous and new comes my way. So ladies, if you find yourself in a position like mine, lets toast to the idea of being young happy and single. Let’s not sulk but playfully await Mr. Right’s arrival with the confidence that he will have Bob’s convictions.

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One Response to The Breakup Breakdown

  1. lovelyshenelle says:

    RIGHT ! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE FOR THIS POST ! (and i’m not mad @ gun or a stiff blow to the jugular nuff said)

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