Five Bullets in the Corpse of My Clubbing Days

How i feel inside when people ask me that question.

This is an oldie but goodie- a note id written last march to my friends that still holds true.

used to love to go out in NYC. I had a profound love for going out – every part of it – i mean, the dressing up, makeup, calling of the friends, looking cute in the club and the whoooole nine. Then, about 2 years ago i just fell out of love with the whole experience. I have pretty much withdrawn from the club scene and retreated more to more intimate social gatherings and small get-togethers with friends, art shows, music showcases, concerts, vacations, etc. I just find it to be a bit more stimulating. Also – anyone that clubs for more than a year will tell you – it is repetitive, tedious, and if you’re not networking for business reasons, its just not economical.

SO back to our initial point. I went out to a club in the Bronx last night for a friend’s bday. Took a $$$$ Cab to go to a $$$Club to pay for $$$$$ drinks and get back in a $$$$$ Cab. But thats besides the point. Going to the club is a release and a small escape – but obviously if you’ve been clubbing since 18 its time for you to STOP the escape.

Other associates came. They looked on the club with upturned noses, and snotty attitudes. They turned lights on via their blackberry phones (yuck) and proceeded to tell me I tried too hard with what I was wearing (“Ewww – Its a club in the Bronx, why are you dressed up??, etc.”) then they left. Abruptly.

During the night, several dudes attempted to ask for a dance – and i use the term ‘ask for’ very loosely. Wasn’t asking so much as it was my wrist being locked in some strange mans grip while they used brute force levels of strength to detach my arm, as i refused to move. They then gave me the finger or insulted me, and moved on to a more drunk, lower standard possessing target. One even got mad at me and pushed another girl in retaliation. Get your anger management class on, bruh.

Now – there are several things wrong with this scenario. I thought on it this morning, examined the sitchhhhaashun. Here are the main points in bulleted form.:

One.Dressing Well is LIGHT WORK.
It took me a total of 12 minutes to pull that look together- it was little to no effort. I dont even try outfits on, to tell the truth. I never ask for second opinions, either. After a while if you dont know what accentuates you, what fits, what doesn’t fit or how to wear it, you will never never never know. Clothing, and dressing well in general, to me — Either you have it or you dont. If im getting dressed UP to go anywhere, im a 10 out of 10. I dress how i feel. if i was wearing some run over pair of kicks i could probably still manage to style it better than a high percentage of the normal ad chasing, trendy population. . YOU try hard and fail, YOU dont try at all and fail miserably. Don’t tell me i tried too hard.

Two. I thank God for maturity.
Ive learned how makeup works, ive accumulated a great closet full of good pieces, ive learned that being drunk is something you should NOT be doing over the age of about 22, and having it caught on camera is just – disgraceful.

Three. A club is a Club, no matter the zip code.
Ive clubbed from Paris to Brooklyn, Miami to the Bronx, LA to Greenwich Village. They Are ALLL the Same. Not one is different. The only thing diff is music they play, the racial mix of the crowd, and the strength of the smell of the cigarettes and or weed, i promise you.

Four. DUDE. I DONT WANT TO WINE UP ON YOUR LITTLE WEE WEE SO LET ME BE.
This one should be self explanatory. And im not a bitch because i dont want to dance with you. Its just not worth it.

Five. If it dont make money it dont make sense.
Im all about being making financial sense in these times. Bottle service is one of the stupidest things you can do with your money. THIS IS NOT A VIDEO! THIS AINT A MOVIE DAWG! Being that the rate of young joblessness is so high i dont know what in the hell you people are wasting money on that bullshit for. I cant even begin to understand why in these shaky ass times we’re blowing thru rent money, car note money, gas money, grocery money, shit, vacay money for a bottle in the club. Do you know you coulda just went to Brazil for what you spent? Do you know you coulda just paid off that credit card debt with that money?
Do you have any idea what the mark up is for the liquor distributors and clubs? Why is a bottle of champagne 40-70 dollars at the liquor store and 450 in the club? What part of the game is that?

I can go on and on. Just thought i’d share.

That being said – its safe to say Ive had my fill of clubbing every weekend or even every other weekend. House parties, wine bars, and partying across the country are on and popping til the death, tho.

-Jo